You Must Relax
SLACK
adj.
1) not taut or held tightly in position; loose
2) (of business) characterized by a lack of work or activity; quiet; slow or sluggish
3) having or showing laziness or negligence
4) (of a tide) neither ebbing nor flowing
etc…
#funstuff
Tuesday, October 11
AG 12:24 PM
Hola! Does anyone have any recs for Mexico City? I’m here for a week working remote!
CL 12:31 PM
¡Que divertido! Go to Frida and Diego’s house, eat tacos from one of the street vendors, visit the Parque España, have AT LEAST one dinner at Rosetta! You will have a blast! Disfruta!!!
AG 12:33 PM
¡Muchos gracias!
#tactics
Tuesday, October 11
DD 1:31 PM
Unfortunately, the Sleep campaign hasn’t been as successful as we hoped. Or perhaps you could say that it’s been too successful, since our testers keep falling asleep. We need a new strategy that keeps users on the line overnight. Any ideas?
FP 1:40 PM
I don’t really listen to podcasts when I sleep but if I did I think I would want them to be like chill ambient sounds and maybe like some guided meditations. Oh! We could combine a bunch of pods like that into playlists and call them Dreamcatchers!
And then to keep people listening what about something like Youtube’s “Are you still watching” thing? If they fall asleep the pause will wake them up gently!
EB 1:44 PM
Love that idea!!! Also we could feature some dope meditation influencers like Hani Jones and Alma Fernandez in exchange for a couple posts on their IGs…
LS 1:48 PM
I don’t sleep with pods on either, more of jog-and-pod guy myself 🏃😊 but what about playing a like super high-frequency note between pods that would wake people up without them knowing? Then they’ll have to start another pod to fall asleep. Love the Dreamcatchers idea btw!
DD 1:55 PM
Great ideas keep em coming y’all!
🔒love
Tuesday, October 11
YOU 3:14 PM
imy
MK 3:15 PM
imy2
quickie in the break room in 10?
YOU 3:15 PM
if only… WFH sux
MK 3:16 PM
i k
so does this sleep campaign. why is DD so set on worming his way into the collective unconscious? he’s like a hypercapitalist hypnotist.
YOU 3:17 PM
😩
“Sleep is a blue ocean…”
🤮
well Slack is Discord in a dark mirror
I hate it here
MK 3:17 PM
yeah it’s like a military campaign hq
YOU 3:17 PM
they prob wanna court martial me by now
i haven’t even started this week’s design
MK 3:18 PM
me neither
we’re taking the system down from within!
YOU 3:18 PM
not sure this is what Marx had in mind lol
MK 3:18 PM
Marx didn’t know the ruling class would have gifs
YOU 3:19 PM
what will Slack be like in VR?
MK 3:19 PM
oh god
I do NOT want to meet the Party Blob…
#general
Wednesday, October 12
DD 9:43 AM
So, who wants to start going back into the office in December? Trying to gauge interest here.
#marketing
Wednesday, October 12
QE 12:13 PM
17 more views on our latest blog post “26 Tips and Tricks to Help You Fall Asleep FAST!” Good job Copy Squad!
🤓 ✍️
KK 12:18 PM
On behalf of the Copy Squad I would simply like to say that while we do indeed accept this praise, the locutions scribbled in “26 Tips and Tricks to Help You Fall Asleep FAST!” are in no way indicative of the diction and grammatical suavity of which we the Copy Squad are capable. We are literary writers, genuine artists in our own right, and we humbly request all of you to read the blog we co-manage outside of work. Just going to leave this here… www.thotsandprayers.com
EB 1:46 PM
Working on a sleep aid podcast called Dreamcatchers!! If anyone has any pods they think I should add LMK
QE 1:58 PM
Ohh I love that title! 😍 🌟
Lots of good work here but we need to pick up the pace and grab A LOT more eyeballs before summer fund-raising… @YOU and @MK have you finished the designs for next week’s New Releases yet?
🔒love
Wednesday, October 12
MK 2:50 PM
oof trouble in #marketing…
YOU 2:58 PM
really wondering why I took this absurd job rn
MK 3:03 PM
to expose the contradictions inherent in the system, duh
also for money lol
YOU 3:04 PM
both true lol
but I broke my rule of never taking a job that requires Slack
it’s like a vortex trying to pull us under
just look at the logo
MK 3:05 PM
and the name
they could just cut us some slack amirite?
YOU 3:05 PM
boy do corporations love irony!
MK 3:06 PM
the worst thing startup culture gave the world is its enthusiasm
YOU 3:07 PM
lol
my brain is turning into a filing cabinet
I don’t wanna think anymore
gonna see if our pal DALL-E can do this project for us
Friday, October 14
YOU 9:45 AM
holy shit look at what the bot did now…
MK 10:10 AM
OMG! that’s…
PERFECT
you didn’t have to wrk at all?
YOU 10:12 AM
just touched some stuff up in photoshop. 5-10 min
MK 10:14 AM
hahaha I bet no one notices
YOU 10:15 AM
I know they won’t
MK 10:16 AM
I love u
my dear revolutionary
#marketing
Friday, October 14
YOU 10:33 AM
New Releases designs are in the spreadsheet for this week and next. lmk if you have any feedback. Happy to make alterations!
EB 10:44 AM
I LOVE THEM! 😍
QE 11:01 AM
Looking good! Thanks for all your hard work @YOU and @MK!
🔒love
Friday, October 14
MK 11:12 AM
bahahahahhaha
MK 11:28 AM
thank you
YOU 11:49 AM
don’t thank me thank DALL-E haha
MK 11:50 AM
Thank you DALL-EEEEEEE
praise thee robo-overlord!
YOU 11:52 AM
I think we finally found a way to be anticapitalists in this shithole…
MK 11:59 AM
I mean…
let’s not get carried away
YOU 12:01 PM
ok
but it’s a step
MK 12:02 PM
towards what..?
more efficient technocratic bosses?
YOU 12:03 PM
towards a society where no one has to work
we’re pointing out the contradictions
MK 12:04 PM
oh yeah THIS is the logical straw that’ll break the camel’s back
‘we just realized we don’t need you, so we’re going to pay you our money to do nothing!’
YOU 12:05 PM
sure but if paired with direct action…
and this frees up time for more actions in the streets
YOU 12:09 PM
lol what’s wrong?
just a minute ago you were glad I saved us time
MK 12:10 PM
I’m still glad I don’t have to waste my time on a stupid graphic for an exploitative podcast company
but that time doesn’t help if we don’t use it for anything real
but we don’t do shit. like what do u know about the streets? you spend all your free time on the comp
YOU 12:12 PM
online actions are valid too
you have to hold onto some hope
MK 12:13 PM
you sound like one of them
#funstuff
Friday, October 14
EB 4:10 PM
Party at my place tn!
1515 Long Meadow Ct.
Austin, TX 78613
There will be aperol spritzes and a spicy round of Cards Against Humanity! 🥂🌶️
#familystuff
Friday, October 14
QE 4:32 PM
Happy happy birthday to @EB! May your day be full of tasty food and hilarious card games! Libra szn!! ⚖️ 🎂 ✨ 🥳 🍾
QE 4:41 PM
On an unrelated but similarly celebratory note, I can officially report that we have cracked the top ten in podcast apps by downloads!!! Next stop: TOP 5!
🥳 🤩 🏆
#tactics
Monday, October 17
DD 8:23 AM
Happy Monday y’all! Back to the grind… We’ve done a fantastic job to crack the Top Ten but there’s still plenty of hill to climb to reach the Top Five. The floor is open for ideas on how to improve our Sleep product. Gotta capture those sleepy eyeballs!
AG 8:55 AM
I gave this a lot of thought over the weekend. I love the Dreamcatchers angle but my one concern is that it may be too good at putting people to sleep. So I thought what if we make every 5th or 7th pod in the playlist something less relaxing and kind of out of place? Not quite jarring but like, different enough from meditation and white noise to remind people of their phones?
QE 9:40 AM
Interesting idea @AG.
Maybe e.g. a birdsong that reminds the user of morning but could be construed as a sleep aid?
@EB can we try a version of Dreamcatchers like that for some A/B testing?
EB 9:45 AM
Sure thing! Love that idea! slash we’ll see what the data says
YOU 10:55 AM
Why don’t we just put a chip in people’s heads to advertise to them in their sleep?
DD 11:24 AM
Okay @YOU… pretty brazen approach imho but this is an open floor for brainstorming so I appreciate your thinking aloud. We’ll store that idea in the brain bank.
🔒love
Monday, October 17
MK 11:44 AM
LOL you’re just asking to be fired
YOU 11:56 AM
I think they’re actually considering the idea tbh 😂
MK 11:58 AM
you’re prob right
even the critique gets co-opted
YOU 11:59 AM
this is the incubation room for the virus
MK 12:00 PM
all my texts are infected
it’s ruined gifs for me
YOU 12:02 PM
MK 12:03 PM
see I’m not even enjoying that
ok maybe a lil…
MK 12:05 PM
what’s the plan for this week? delegate to our star coworker again?
YOU 12:05 PM
ofc
means more alone time for the two of us 😉
MK 12:06 PM
yes
and more time for organizing
I was thinking we could hit the DSA protest tomorrow…
Direct messages: MK, YOU, QE
Thursday, October 20
QE 10:12 AM
Hey just wanted to say thanks to both of you for being so on top of things lately! You’re really crushing it! Things are about to pick up as the Sleep campaign gets rolling, so I wanted to check in and see how you feel about an expanded workload going forward. Of course, as freelancers this would mean more hours (and more pay) for you, but if you’ve already got too much on your plate we can hire some new people to pick up the Slack (haha).
Just wanted to give you two the first opportunity to take on more work if you want it, since you’ve been doing such an awesome job!
YOU 10:22 AM
Thanks so much QE! Now, I can’t speak for @MK but the truth for me is that I am pretty swamped with a few different projects atm, and the recent work you mentioned has taken more time than I expected. I want to keep producing designs at a high level, and I’m afraid more quantity would cause the quality to suffer, so I have to respectfully decline your offer for more hours.
BUT, I do think I can help you with hiring more designers. I know a couple people who are looking for more work right now, and they’re phenomenal! I worked with both of them on previous projects and I can 100% vouch for their abilities. Happy to send you their info, but let’s see what @MK says first.
🔒love
Thursday, October 20
YOU 10:23 AM
GO WITH IT
I haz plan
Direct messages: MK, YOU, QE
Thursday, October 20
MK 10:29 AM
Thanks QE! Really appreciate you noticing our hard work. As far as the next phase goes, I’m afraid I have to agree with @YOU. Been super busy lately and don’t want the quality to suffer. If the two designers @YOU suggests are who I think they are, the brand will be in good hands!
YOU 10:30 AM
@MK they’re exactly who you think they are!
MK 10:31 AM
knew it!! YAY
QE 10:45 AM
Well I think that settles it then… Send me their info when you get the chance and DD and I will get in touch. Thanks again!
#general
Thursday, October 27
DD 9:54 AM
@everyone give a nice warm welcome to the newest additions to the family @FR and @JA!! FR and JA are top-notch designers with several years of experience, and they’re going to help bring our Sleep brand to life!
😊 🔥 ✨ 🥳 🍀 🤩
EB 9:55 AM
Wahoo!!!
AG 9:59 AM
Welcome @FR and @JA!
CL 10:04 AM
Howdy! 🤠
YOU 10:08 AM
Can’t wait to work with you again!
🔒love
Wednesday, November 30
MK 11:02 AM
should we feel bad?
YOU 11:12 AM
are you kidding me!
the bosses are the ones exploiting people
all we’re exploiting is their exploitation
YOU 11:20 AM
plus we need the money and they don’t
MK 11:44 AM
ugh ik
if we keep this up for a few more months I might actually climb my way out of medical debt…
#tactics
Monday, January 2
QE 10:31 AM
Happy New Year everyone!
I have a quick start-of-year update! We’ve made substantial progress in the past few months. People are finally starting to SUBSCRIBE to the Sleep app, and on top of that we’re getting super useful customer feedback. Our users are saying they could use more variety in the mediation podcasts @content, but they LOVE the UI and logos! Great work @YOU, @MK, @FR, and @JA!! We are full steam ahead with this project in the New Year. Sleep is the new frontier!
💤 🤩 🧑💼 🧭
Direct messages: QE, YOU, MK, FR, JA
Monday, January 2
QE 11:02 AM
Wanted to thank you all personally for your hard work these past two months! And I figured I would check in while I’m at it. How has the workload been? Everyone managing ok?
JA 11:13 AM
Thank you QE! The shoutout means a lot! I don’t know if I can speak for the whole group but personally I’ve found the UI work to be very time-intensive. I like it—I just don’t know if the pace we’re at right now is sustainable. I want to keep rolling out more and more new designs but I don’t want the quality to suffer…
QE 11:15 AM
Noted. Thanks for letting me know. What about you @FR? How have things been since you joined the squad?
FR 11:16 AM
Honestly, gotta echo @JA on this one. I love the work but I’ve been pouring too much of myself into it lately to keep up this pace. I want to spend more time with my kids—may have to cap my hours or step down if we can’t hire anyone else to help…
🔒love
Monday, January 2
MK 11:19 AM
Direct messages: QE, YOU
Monday, January 2
QE 11:29 AM
Hey @YOU it looks like we need to expand the #design team, and I can’t think of anyone better for the job than you! What do you say to a new role in the new year? Design Team Manager! You’ll have full control of team hiring and tactics, and it will be a full-time position that of course comes with a raise.
🔒love
Monday, January 2
YOU 11:38 AM
QE wants to make me a manager…
MK 11:50 AM
lol
you’re turning it down I assume
YOU 12:10 PM
uhhh
actually…
MK 12:11 PM
???
YOU 12:12 PM
I think it might be a good thing
I can hire more ‘coworkers’ and you and I can keep splitting the profits
MK 12:14 PM
hmm
you’re playing with 🔥
YOU 12:16 PM
it’s the only way to fight their fire
think of what we can do with the money
YOU 12:18 PM
no more debt…
MK 12:32 PM
I’ll leave it up to you
Direct messages: QE, YOU, MK, FR, JA
Monday, January 2
QE 2:02 PM
Oh my, I’m sorry to hear that! @FR @JA
Didn’t realize you were that busy… I’m not giving up on you that easily though! I’ve named @YOU the new #design team Manager! YOU will look into hiring some more team players to lighten your workload in the next few weeks.
FR 2:12 PM
Great! Congrats @YOU! 🤩
JA 2:15 PM
Nice one! Excited to see who you choose @YOU
🔒love
Monday, January 2
YOU 2:49 PM
LOL
we are killing it
didn’t realize usurping the means of production would be so ez
MK 3:15 PM
uh-huh
but let’s consider hiring some human beings this time…
I have a friend who could use the work
YOU 3:19 PM
kk
send me their resume
YOU 3:21 PM
bb
#design
Monday, January 23
YOU 9:13 AM
Super excited to welcome @GB @VL @RO and @TD to the Design Squad! Y’all will be a HUGE addition to the team! Any questions just ask me or @MK. We’ve been coordinating the design work here and have a good sense of what’s needed. Now let’s make these podcasts POP!
MK 9:15 AM
Excited to connect! We’re about to do some great work :)
TD 9:16 AM
Thanks for the warm welcome! Can’t wait to get started!
VL 9:17 AM
Stoked to work with you again @MK! :) :)
Nice to e-meet you @YOU 😂
Very impressed with your work already
GB 9:18 AM
Yeehaw! Let’s hit the ground runnin everybody! I have some UI ideas I’m excited to share. Been looking forward to this project for a while now!
RO 9:18 AM
Looks like the gang already said everything I wanted to say haha
Let’s get after it! 👋 🎉
🔒love
Monday, January 23
MK 9:19 AM
Wow you’re fast
you have a diff login for each?
YOU 9:27 AM
yup
I think I’m getting the hang of this managing thing
MK 9:35 AM
don’t let it go to your head now
I’m just glad you gave my friend the job
idk what to tell her about work tho…
YOU 9:45 AM
dw I’ve got it under control
Direct messages: YOU, MK
Tuesday, February 14
VL 8:28 AM
Hey @MK hope you’re well. Just wanted to ask you a question about the workflow around here. I’ve noticed my designs don’t get much feedback, and the group tends to settle on a different one without a lot of discussion. Is there something I can do differently to match the brand’s style? Everyone else’s designs seem pretty similar, and I wonder if I’m just missing the company style or something? Any suggestions would be much appreciated.
MK 12:32 PM
Hey sorry for the late response. As far as I’m concerned, you’re doing a great job! Keep up the good work and I’ll talk with YOU about what we can do to feature more of your design work.
#funstuff
Friday, February 17
QE 2:21 PM
Hey @here exciting news! The company retreat is coming up on the week of February 27th. Can’t wait to see all your hardworking faces in person! Looks like most of the company has signed up, but only a few folks from the #design team registered. @GB @RO @TD @FR @JA if you’re interested in joining us for the Miami trip, please let me know ASAP.
In other news, after the retreat I will be stepping down to pursue another opportunity. As sad as that makes me, I am happy to announce that @YOU will be taking over for me as COO of the company! It has been a real pleasure working with all of you, and please know that I’ll do everything in my power to make this transition as smooth as possible. See you soon!
🔒love
Friday, February 17
MK 3:10 PM
this is royally fucked up
you didn’t say shit
and we were literally together yesterday…
YOU 6:14 PM
a tangled fishing line is difficult to reel
Direct messages: YOU, MK, Slackbot
Thursday, March 2
Slackbot 10:02 AM
@MK archived the channel 🔒love
#general
Monday, March 6
DD 9:45 AM
@here it is with a heavy heart that I must report our recent overhaul of the #design team… You may have noticed things were off during the company retreat, and I will explain all of it in due time, but for now all I’ll say is that the Design Squad’s practices were questionable at best. YOU, who saw these practices develop firsthand, and I decided it would be best for the company to put a stop to it by removing everyone involved, which unfortunately was the entire Design Squad. We will do our best to make sure this never happens again.
YOU will remain our COO but will be in charge of hiring all new designers from scratch. I know this is hard to hear, but I feel confident that #design is in good hands and we will have things running at full speed again soon. Time to start fresh. In the meantime, keep up the good work!
Direct messages: YOU, MK
Monday, March 6
MK 12:12 PM
enjoy your big blue ocean
try not to strangle yourself with that fishing line
MK 12:22 PM
or drown
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